Love in the Dark
by Youshi Semenjyu
Summary: Duo's broken heart leads him to almost disatrous consequences (1x2, 2+4)


Love in the Dark

Love in the Dark

By DuoLordOfDeath

Disclaimer: Perhaps I haven't made myself clear...I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM WING OR THE SONG, "TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART"!!!! Thank you!

* *denotes song lyrics

~ ~ denotes letter

***Turn around, Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round*  
*Turn around, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears*  
*Turn around, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by*  
*Turn around, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes*  
*Turn around bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart*  
*Turn around bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart***

Only one thought struck my thoughts as I lay in my darkened room, tears streaking down my face. "Heero...why are you doing this to me, Heero? Can't you see how much you mean to me?"

I buried my face into my pillow, sobbing relentlessly into it. The bedding upon Heero's bed and mine was tangled horrendously in my legs. It had been like this every night for such a long time...Heero would sit down the hall in his tiny den, secluded from the rest of the world. He never cam around to be with me anymore, and I felt a gripping of fear and despair in my heart. He never held me like he used to, never made love, never said that he loved me...he was growing distant again, just like during the war. I had hoped that I had cured him of his heart of stone, but I guess I was wrong. Now all there was in this lonely bed was my tears and myself. 

Now, I feel as though I've wasted all these years with him, just to have him not love me after all this time of love and faith. He was the best part of my life...and now it was all over. There was nothing to make me smile again. It frightened me...oh so much...

"Duo..."

My head shot up at this single syllable. I knew that monotone, that deep, velvet voice... I turned around on the bed and found myself looking into the Prussian blue orbs of Heero Yuy. My heart sped up at his presence, and I felt fear trailing away from my heart as he walked to the bed and slid in next to me, his eyes gazing at me intently. I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder with mixed tears, both of sadness and relief.

***Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild***

***Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms*  
*Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry*  
*Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes*  
*Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart*  
*Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart***

"Heero...why...why did you-"

The Perfect Soldier pressed a finger against my lips and wiped a few tears away from my face. He smiled gently and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Duo...it's okay...I'm sorry for doing this to you..."

"Heero...I was about to kill myself...you were driving insane, wild with heartbreak...I just wasn't thinking straight..." I suddenly felt so helpless as I lay here cradled in his arms, and continued to sob softly. "I was so angry, and so depressed...I just felt like all my happiness had left me forever...never to be seen again."

Heero looked at me through the darkness, his eyes gleaming gently with the moonlight. He looked...remorseful, which seemed a bit odd to me. Heero had never looked remorseful...

"Duo...who am I to rob you of your happiness? I have not treated you the way I should have...Duo, can you ever forgive me?"

I smiled and held him near. "Of course I forgive you...."

I looked into his eyes, and I saw a glittering of love and desire mingled in his blue eyes, once cold with battle scars, now warm with true emotion. I sighed as I felt his slightly coarse hand pressed against my upper leg and he leaned in and kissed me sweetly.

***And I need you now tonight*  
*And I need you more than ever*  
*And if you'll only hold me tight*  
*We'll be holding on forever*  
*And we'll only be making it right*  
*Cause we'll never be wrong together*  
*We can take it to the end of the line*  
*Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time*  
*I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark*  
*We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks*  
*I really need you tonight*  
*Forever's gonna start tonight*  
*Forever's gonna start tonight***

I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, and curled up next to his warm body. I needed him so badly that it hurt. All I wanted him to do was keep me in his arms all night, and never let go. Perhaps this way things would be set back the way they used to be. As I lay in his arms, I breathed deeply, taking in his scent as though he was going to leave again. But something told me that everything would turn out all right in the end, no matter what happened.

Heero looked at me, and he seemed so vulnerable, so gentle. This was the side of The Perfect Soldier that only I was privileged to see, the side of warmth and caring love. He caressed my face gently with his hand and his eyes were a mixture of two emotions that I could not decipher. Heero Yuy and his love were still a mystery to me, a wonderful, beautiful mystery, and I was determined to figure it out. He was always leaving me in the dark, and I would follow behind, watching him smile at me as I tried and tried to figure him out.As I pressed my body closer to his, my needs seemed to merge with Heero's, as though we had the same exact desires. I gazed into his eyes, and I saw two fathomless pools of blue, as though he was showing me forever.

As we made love that night, I felt a long, seemingly dead spark flare up again between us. Little did I know that this spark would ignite and destroy everything that was my world.

***Once upon a time I was falling in love*  
*But now I'm only falling apart*  
*There's nothing I can do*  
*A total eclipse of the heart*  
*Once upon a time there was light in my life*  
*But now there's only love in the dark*  
*Nothing I can say*  
*A total eclipse of the heart***

I felt the warm sun before I saw it, and I smiled for the first time in a very long time. But something was missing. Heero...where were Heero's arms? My eyes flashed open and I stared at where the Japanese boy had been laying, and instead of a body of flesh and blood, and found the body of a letter, laid upon the pillow with a small white daisy, like the one that the small girl in his past had given him. I slowly reached for the note and blinked in confusion. I looked at the note, and I felt a slowly growing lump press against my throat as I read it.

_~Dearest Duo Maxwell,_

__

_I can no longer bring you the happiness that you need. I'm sorry that I have to tell you in this way, but you deserve someone who can make you happy always, not just from time to time. Please spare a thought for me every once in a while, for I will be thinking of you as well. I hope that you can find someone as kind and gentle as yourself. I am watching over you. And whatever you do, do not come looking for me...I will make sure that I am not found. I will watch you from the shadows._

__

_Aishiteru,_

_Heero Yuy~_

I stared at the letter for a few quiet moments, watching it quake slightly in my hands. Heero was gone...and I would never see him again. At that moment, I made a decision. I stepped calmly out of bed and got dressed, not bothering with a shower. I kneeled in my closet and gently pulled out a small, tattered jewelry box. I blew the dust off of the cover, and then slowly opened it. I pulled out an old crucifix from its depths and smiled softly. The crucifix was made of slightly tarnished gold and had a small sapphire gem encrusted in its center. I briefly smiled at the small gem, thinking that it's color reminded me of Quatre Raberba Winner's eyes, then wondered where that thought had come from. The cross hung from a small chain made of equally tarnished gold. I slipped it over my head and felt a few old memories mingle back into my mind. I had gotten this particular necklace from Sister Helen as a birthday present when I had turned 13, a mere 2 months before the now famed Maxwell Church Tragedy. I stood after I slid the box back into my closet then decided to wait. Night would be most appropriate for what I was planning.

Around 9:30 that night, I retreated up to my room and walked over to my bureau, a serious look upon my face.From the top drawer, I pulled a small black pistol. I checked to see if it was fully loaded, and found that it was. I stepped over to the large full-length mirror that I had in one corner of the room and watched myself as I raised the weapon to my temple. 

I closed my eyes, and briefly watched as a few images of my friends wafted through my mind. Solo...Sister Helen...Father Maxwell...my fellow Gundam pilots...Hilde...I saw everyone, and then I saw Heero standing behind all of them, watching me intently. This was the end of my misery. Now I would find peace.

***Once upon a time I was falling in love*  
*But now I'm only falling apart*  
*Nothing I can do*  
*A total eclipse of the heart*  
*Once upon a time there was light in my life*  
*But now there's only love in the dark*  
*Nothing I can say*  
*A total eclipse of the heart*  
  
**

Not the click of a gun, but the click of a door opening stopped me.I turned slowly around, the gun still pointed at my hairline, and found myself gazing into the shocked and horrified marine eyes of Quatre Raberba Winner.I remained unmoving and expressionless, so much like my lost lover's own calm features.

"Duo?! What are you doing? Please, put that gun down…" his voice remained calm and steady, although a bit frightened in nature. I still remained unmoving as I gazed at him as he stood in the now closed doorway across the room.

"Why…why do you care whether I live or die, Quatre?" I said levelly, the barrel of the gun pressed coolly against my forehead. "I could pull this trigger right now, and you couldn't do a thing about it…and I'm sure no one would care if I were gone…"

"That's not true, Duo…I…I would care…" he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze never left mine, although my eyes were surely cold and dull.

"Then answer my question before I die…why would you care?"

Quatre took a breath, and smiled at me weakly. "Because...because I love you…"

I was silent, and the gun faltered in my grasp. I heard it fall to the floor with a dull thud, but I did not see it. My eyes were watching Quatre, and I did not quite believe what I had just heard. Quatre Winner…loved me?

__I fell to my knees, and my hands held me up as I began to sob silently. Warm arms wrapped around me and began to cradle me, rocking my body back and forth gently.A soft voice made soft sounds as it tried to comfort me, and it took me a few moments to realize that it was Quatre who was holding me. 

"Shh…it'll be alright…I only hope that I can love you just as well Heero did…can you give me that chance?" 

I looked up at Quatre, and found his eyes sparkling with pure sincerity and love, and smiled a bit through my fading tears. I pulled myself up to look him in the eyes. I took a breath, and sighed as though a heavy weight had been lifted from my heart.

"Quatre…thank you…"

"Thank you for what?" he said softly.

"Thank you…for saving my life…I'm sure Heero would rather me fall in love with someone like you…than to die in bloody pain and sadness…I wouldn't refuse you…"

He smiled, and I leaned in, and gave him a soft, gentle kiss. We had no need for words.

~*Owari*~

**  
  
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End file.
